Over the Top Wedding For Teen Bride

Once in a great while we come across stories that seem to be made for us, as if they had fallen out of the sky just for us. The wedding of 19 year old Margaret Doran and 20 year old Alex White is just so lovely that we had to share with you. The young couple met nine months ago at at a disco and just had to get married. (Hmm...is she related to Paris Hilton because this sounds oddly familiar...) Though young and in love, and clueless by default, they decided to have a ceremony that would have put Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt's wedding to shame. The wedding cake was styled to look like a magical castle and had 42 tiers (By our calculations that would feed about 10,000 people. Yeah, that was necessary...) The wedding dress for the bride had 60 underskirts (Think of the biggest cupcake you've ever seen then imagine it with enough frosting to put a small child in a coma...) was so large she could barely fit through the door. (See picture) Maraget arrived to the wedding in a carriage pulled by six white horses and followed by two white limos to make sure she got there on time. All of this for only 100 close family and friends. Wow, they spent a lot of money on the wedding. That means they'll be together forever!

Rocks Off Update!! Celebrity Love Triangle

Things are starting to heat up in the divorce of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen. Even thought it looked liked they might have a pleasant divorce, it now looks like there may be a cat fight in grand Hollywood fashion. Ms. Richards, the sexy former Bond girl was granted a restraining order to stay at least 90 meters away from Richards and their two kids, except during visitation. The former bride is now saying that things were bad. The 17 page court declaration allegedly contains details of Sheen's less than gentlemanly behavior including dalliances with prostitutes, drug and gambling addiction and threats to harm, or even kill her. (Geez, not Charlie Sheen! We are shocked!?! Drugs? Prostitutes? Not the man we know and love...we have no faith in humanity...)Richards also described how Sheen took a wedding picture, sawed it in half and then spray-painted "the dumbest day of my life" over it. Ahh, look forward to more fun as another hearing is scheduled for May 12.

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To top everything off, it looks like Miss Richards has been photographed with another newly single man, Richie Sambora. (We didn't want to believe it either...but ya can't deny the proof) Denise Richards was photographed in Laguna Beach kissing the recently split Sambora just after she filed for protection from husband Charlie Sheen. To make things worse, Sambora's ex-wife, Heather Locklear used to be a close friend of Richards. (Uh oh, is she going to have to get all T.J. Hooker on her butt?) Ah, it looks like Desperate Housewives is a reality show afterall. Cheers!

Axe Wielding Sons Kidnap Dad From Wedding

We're surprised that this is only the second story of the year that involves an abducted groom. (No lawyers were involved this time...that we know of... )This time three axe wielding sons of the groom decided they wouldn't welcome a new mommy in the family. These men from Zimbabwe were trying to prevent their father from committing bigamy. Apparently the sons were not too happy with daddy as they accused him of neglecting their mother then they bundled him up and whisked him away in their car.(Sounds like the beginning of a really bad Charlie Sheen movie...)The bride, being the trooper that she is, tried to salvage the mishapped occasion by turning the wedding ceremony into a regular church ceremony. The pastor urged the guests to still enjoy the wedding disaster by eating the food and giving gifts. (Hey! We're sorry you can't find your husband...here's a blender...)

Marathon Wedding Goodness

Katie Austin and Gordon Fryer were dressed like any normal couple on their wedding day (see picture. She wore a lovely ivory gown and he in a morning suit. It was everything from a typical bridezilla fairy tale wedding but then they lost us. They got married in the middle of a 26.2 marathon, which they ran in their wedding gear. (Are people just doing these things to get into the newspapers?? How could this possible sound like a good idea to anyone?!?)The bride tried to explain this wacky day by saying they hoped the marriage during the marathon would "capture the imagination of family and friends". What a great way to start off a marriage; tired, competitive and really quite dirty.(Hey...that reminds us of a Brangelina wedding too..Isn't word association great?)The 80 minute ceremony was lovely and after the celebration...the couple ran away to finish the race. (We all know we should wait at least 2 hours after eating cake before running a marathon...these people are breaking all the rules.)

Old Gown, New Trick for Zellweger

So you spend a few thousand dollars on a wedding gown. It's fabulous, picture perfect, one that will land on the cover of wedding magazines for ages...but...what if the marriage isn't? It looks like Renee Zellweger has decided that instead of burning her wedding gown that she wore to her 2005 wedding to country star Kenny Chesney, she decided to make it FABULOUS! (There's now a better way to give your ex the finger?!?) According to Actuastars, Zellweger has decided to dye that old thag to a beautiful blue color. Then she hiked it up a few inches to make it something useful to pick up a new man. We can't wait for her next trip down the aisle. Maybe she can make a snappy crop top out of the next one.

Couple Postpones Wedding Following Joint Arrest

With a 50% divorce rate in the country, one has to wonder what makes a marriage last. Maybe its communication. Maybe its dedication. Maybe its a matter of finding something you like doing together. A New Jersey couple was arrested last week doing something they love together...breaking into cars. To make matters worse, they had scheduled their wedding for that Friday.(Ooo bad timing if you are planning on committing some crimes. We recommend staying away from illegal activities at least 2 weeks before the big day...) Tim McGlothin and Hailey Collier were arrested last Tuesday. A police officer allegedly saw Tim and his bride-to-be Hailey breaking into a car. This may not just be a last ditch effort at asserting their pre-marital freedom. Police suspect the couple was involved in several vehicle break-ins in the early morning hours because nine cars reportedly were broken into within 200 yards of McGlothin's house. Cars seemed to be the tip of the iceburg when a search warrant revealed Timmy's house had stolen stereo equiptment as well as drugs including counterfeit cocaine and pills. The police officer with a heart of gold said "“Hailey told me they were supposed to get married Friday. I donÂ't think Timmy is going to make it."” Yeah, we highly doubt it.

Cheap Bride Travels 1,000 Miles For Dental Work

Bride-to-be Jill Fisk wanted her teeth to be picture perfect for her upcoming wedding. The 50 year old soon to be married woman was quoted at £16,000 by her local dentist for a few crowns and other cosmetic work. But she likes to shop around for the best prices so instead of going around the corner to check prices, she hopped a plane to Hungary and made the 1,000-mile trip to get her fabulous work done for only £4,000! (Geez, everyone knows that British dental standards are the same as Hungary...wait...Great Britain has dental standards?!?)She couldn't wait for the 12 months the treatment would have taken in in Britain. With the trip to Hungary cut out all that pesky waiting and she was out with pearly white teeth in just two visits. Ah....bridezilla truly knows no boundaries...

A Not So Friendly Wedding Crasher

Sometimes wedding crashers can be fun. They'll dance with your old Aunt Vern or eat all of the leftovers (or try to take them home with them...). And then there are the wedding crashers with ulterior motives. In Schenectady, New York a furious woman is accused of crashing a wedding reception and splashing guests with acid. Whatever happened to just spiking the punch or eating a section of the wedding cake and running? (The less obvious things are sometimes the most effective...not that we know or anything...)Police say Rihab Hagelkhider crashed the party in search of a guest who was a friend of the bride. Police only know there was a problem between the two but didn't know exactly what was going on. This party pooper injured six people, including herself, with her highly illegal antics. The warm arms of the law is embracing the woman by charging her with assault and reckless endangerment. (see picture)

A Charming Jail House Wedding

Sean O'Neil and Annmarie Fraser are newlyweds full of promise, hope, a 17 year age difference, and a criminal record. When the groom and grandfather of three Sean O'Neil 37 (How is that even possible?!? What alternate universe is he in?), got himself arrested for on charges he assaulted his future wife Annmarie 20, and his ex-partner Margaret McKay while out on bail. They had made all the plans to have a traditional, non-incarcerated, wedding. But he just had to put himself in jail. (This doesn't even begin to make sense.) Instead of calling the wedding off, they decided to continue with the wedding and tied the knot behind bars. They wore their wedding finery, a kilt for Sean and a sophisticated wedding dress for Annmarie. They are planning on renewing their vows outside of the slammer this week. We would normally say cheers but in this case 'RUN FOR THE HILLS!' seems more appropriate...

Rocks On!! Drug and Supermodel Style...Maybe?

Rocks On!!
(For those couples ready to walk the plank)

A lot of people in the US have no idea who rocker Pete Doherty is...but they may soon enough. This self-loving drug enthusiast has proclaimed that his on again off again relationship with preying mantis Kate Moss is not only on...they are going the be married in Scotland sometime this fall. Though Moss' people are mum about the claim, one may be suspicious about the validity of the claim as it was made in a porn club in Austria. In addition, the rocker who has been in trouble with the law for his love affair with drugs said he planned to get fans to give him urine samples so he could beat his court appointed drug tests. He is also far from kicking the habit saying, "Drugs or sex - they are both great. The best is a combination of both of them. I really love sex on substances - nothing beats that." Great, we can't wake for a cracked out Scottish wedding...Horray for rock stars!!

Rocks Off!! Eminem Style

Rocks Off!
(When You Are Ready to Tell Your Spouse to Shove It)

You gotta love Eminem. After a surprise wedding on January 14, 2006 to his former ex-wife Kim Mathers, (How many times do we get to say the soon to be ex is also his ex wife? And I'm my own Grandpa....) people thought it might last this time. Well, the second time around lasted a whopping 3 months. (Hardly enough time for them to pay off the bill for their extravagant wedding.) Eminem, aka Marshall Mathers filed for divorce according to his publicist. We don't know where everything went wrong this time but we're sure it'll come out in his next album. Ah, a broken heart for art. Maybe this time they'll have a peaceful divorce. (Yeah...we wont hold our breath either.)

For the Very Special Bride

We at Wedding Heckler are proud to bring you the bridal dresses so beautiful, so daring, so...special... that we have scoured the globe to present them to you.

This is what happens when you let adult fans of Sesame Street design wedding gowns. This orange atrocity is full of ruffles and out of control puffy feathers. It could only be flattering on...well...the floor? If anyone ever sees someone wear this dress please send us a picture. It's truly the ghost of bridal horrors. Cheers!

Rocks On!! Sleezy Guy Style

Rocks On!!
(For those couples ready to walk the plank)

For those of you who don't know Chad Michael Murray for his acting ability, we proudly present him to you as Hollywoods biggest cad. He married his One Tree Hill costar, Sophia Bush, early in 2005 that was promptly followed by their split in September and a filing for an annulment on the base of 'fraud.' (This was amid rumors he couldn't keep his pants on for more than 5 minutes...) He is now looking to get hitched again! This time the 24 year old groom's lady love is an extra on his show named Kenzie Dalton. (See overly sweet picture)Though this would be an uncomfortable situation normally with his ex-wife and new bride being co-stars it is even more awkward when you consider the following: his new bride-to-be only recently turned 18 years old, a high school senior, and a runner up in the Miss North Carolina Teen Pageant this past year. They are denying any indication that the engagement, after a mere 3 months of dating, has anything to do with the teen being 'in the family way.' Well...they have as good of a shot at forever happiness as Brangelina, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, or Britney Spears and Kevin Federline....oooo...nevermind. Cheers!

(Chad Michel Murrey, Kenzy Daltin)

Brangelina Wedding Race?

Brangelina Wedding Watch Day 200

Report 1:

Everyone hated to see the every so lovely Jennifer Aniston get dumped by Brad Pitt for the adventurous Angelina Jolie, but rumors have surfaced that Ms. Aniston and her boyfriend Vince Vaughn may be racing towards the altar to beat her ex and his pregnant bride-to-be. Though the star denies the race she is saying she wants to start a family next year. (oooo....babies on the brain already? With Vince Vaughn? Eww...they could be little alcohol swigging monkeys..)


Report 2:

Additionally, will Brangelina make it to their wedding day, whatever it is, afterall? According to recent gossip (which, of course is the only relevant news around...) Brad Pitt may be unhappy with how is life is going in the 'squalid' apartment in Paris where he and Angelina Jolie have been living. Their strained relationship is swirling rumors that their baby may be the only partnership they'll have in the future. According to Pitt's supposed neighbor Mohamed Dhabi, "I've heard Brad grumbling as they go out in the morning with their children, and I know he'd like to live somewhere a lot nicer. Americans come to Paris looking for romance and beauty - they won't get much of that living here. The plumbing in this building is very bad and sometimes you get a sickly, cabbage-like smell filling the entire place." Ah, true love knows no sanitation standards.

A Romantic Fly Fishing Wedding

Only in Michigan would a fly fishing wedding even seem remotely possible (We've heard of a large game wedding but come on. Make it entertaining for the guests!) The ceremony was held at the Tippy Dam boat ramp, with family members observing the ceremony from a nearby dock. The handsome fish loving bride Vickie Wright and groom William Nickel were dressed in official fly fishing gear with traditional white flowers attached to their vests. (From the Vera Wang outdoor bridal line...) The groom passed the time before the ceremony by throwing his line in and catching 10 small fish. Nickle taught his bride how to fly fish and she's apparently getting pretty good at it. Ah, a fly fishing widow in the making. Kinda sweet...in a creepy way. (Kinda like Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise's baby.)We wish them lots of love for the rest of their fishy lives.

Rocks Off! Hip-Hop Mogul Style

Rocks Off!
(When You Are Ready to Tell Your Spouse to Shove It)

This weekend saw another celebrity marriage crash and burn. Russell Simmons and his model-turned-entrepreneur wife, Kimora Lee has come to an end. Rumors of an impending break-up have been swirling for weeks. Their marriage has ended after a whopping 7 years. That's like 20 years regular people time.

No hard feelings surrounding this break up either (When will celebs stop being civil?! We want more nasty divorces like David Hasselhoff!!)"Kimora and I will remain committed parents and caring friends with great love and admiration for each other," Simmons said.
Simmons is known as the co-founder of Def Jam Records. And his former lady love Kimora Lee Simmons has become famous because of her Baby Phat clothing line. Another one bites the dust...

Rocks Off!! Friends Style

Rocks Off!
(When You Are Ready to Tell Your Spouse to Shove It)

Former friends actor Matt LeBlanc is not having a good year. With his show "Joey" having sub-par ratings, his personal life doesn't seem to be going very well either. Matt is divorcing his wife of three years, Melissa McKnight. (Who would have thought the marriages of both Jennifer Aniston and Matt LeBlanc would be shorter than Courteney Cox to David Arquette. We give up!)

Of course, there are no hard feelings reported and a joint statement from the star's rep , confirmed: "Melissa and Matt LeBlanc have decided to end their marriage of three years. The dissolution is amicable." Their court papers cited the ever popular "irreconcilable differences." The very secretive couple officially separated on January 1, 2006. Another single, handsome, wealthy, young male actor in Hollywood. How will he ever be able to move on?