Rocks On!! Pammy and Kid Rock Style

Rocks On!!
(For those couples ready to walk the plank)

We've all been privy to the latest barrage of press surrounding the ever bouncy Ms. Pamela Anderson and her upcoming wedding. In a surprise move last week, the buxom blonde and the Detroit City rocker Kid Rock, aka Robert Richie, decided they were going to tie the knot after years of their on again off again romance. Just like her understated style, Pamela is planning on not one but four weddings St. Tropez, Detroit, Malibu, and Nashville. (Naturally, you're not married unless you do it on two continents and 3 different regions of the USA.) This over the moon couple has been out an about before their reported Saturday wedding...the first one in St. Tropez. But Pamela did have time to promote her new poker website. At the press conference she said she was coping with pre-wedding jitters by saying "I have two words for you: cham-pagne." ::Shhhhh no one tell her! It's funnier this way...:::

(Andersen, Kidd Roc)

Donkeys Marry to Appease Rain God

When people marry they hope to get some money and a nice toaster oven out of it (and a George Foreman if they are really luck!) When donkeys marry...it's all business. In a prayer for world peace the villagers in Poovalur, India performed the marriage of two donkeys in the ancient Sri Thirumoola Natha Swamy Temple. The 'bridegroom' was adorned with a silk dhoti, the 'bride' wore a silk jacket and saree. (Oooo someone is trying to show up Nicole Kidman....) More than 3,000 people were in attendance for this unconventional union. The wedding reception followed at the temple with a guest list of 1,000. After the rituals were finished, the newlywed couple was donated to the temple where she will try to arrange things just how she wants them and the male will be an ass about it.

Rocks Off!! The MTV Curse Continues

Rocks Off!!!
(When You Are Ready to Tell Your Spouse to Shove It)


For any celebrity who is jumping at the chance to do a reality show with MTV about their awesome married life...we'd suggest you hold off for a bit. The 'MTV curse' started with the mini-series several years ago called 'Special Delivery' that following Brandy and her husband Robert and the birth of their baby...they split in 2003, there is the infamous Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson lovefest "Newlyweds" that turned into 'find me a divorce lawyer', Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro have now disappointed us all by calling it off after 2 1/2 years of marriage. Their show was called "Till Death Do Us Part" and followed the cute twosome planning for their wedding. But both stars are very much alive but are now "amicably separating" said the actress' publicist on Monday. This will be Dave's third trip to divorce court while Ms. Electra preceded this divorce with her forgettable 9 day marriage and quicky divorce to Dennis Rodman. The couple has been publicly dodging the rumors for months. Ah...love featured on MTV is just not meant to last...

Rocks On!! Totally Hardcore Style

Rocks On!!
(For those couples ready to walk the plank)

For all of you who doubted that perennially sullen Canadian rock babe Avril Lavigne would actually tie the knot with Paris Hilton ex and Sum 41 band member Deryck Whibley, pay your buddy the $20 you owe 'em. (Fork it over TED!!) The young Canadian couple opted to tie the knot on Saturday, July 15th in an intimate 110 person ceremony in Montecito, California. In a complete 180 from the bitter teen-angst rocker image that made her famous, the 21 year old played Cinderella in her very own Vera Wang wedding gown. The couple has been together since 2004 and have already bought their first home together in Bel Air. Word on the street is that this couple has already designated a room as a nursery. Ah, exactly what we need...another celebri-baby. They'll probably name it Hay-Stack and wheel it around in a go-cart. I know I'm excited.

(Avil Lavine, Derick)

39 Wedding Dressing Found on Kansas Highway

Lots of things end up on roads at the middle of the night; raccoons, garbage, old mattresses, pirate hookers, and a pile of 39 wedding dresses. In a truly odd find this week, a Sheriff's department in Kansas was alerted to some unusual debris on the highway at 3:23 in the morning. The debris was in the form of 39 wedding gowns of various sizes and labels. The Sheriff's department is truly perplexed at where this very expensive and gaudy garbage came from. All of the dresses remain in evidence until they can figure out where they are from and how they got there. Either someone was hoarding wedding dresses or there is a band of naked runaway brides roaming Kansas. We are intrigued either way...

Family Sues Over Ugly Bride

We at Wedding Heckler don't pass judgment on how people get together. Whether it's a chat room romance or a drunken night in Vegas, a wedding is a wedding. For an Indian family, an arranged marriage wasn't what they had anticipated. The Pandeys family, who reside in Massachusetts, arranged for an Indian bride for their son, until it came time for the couple to meet. The potential bride-to-be was judged too ugly for the groom to marry. Instead of the 'it's not you it's me' line they chose to take the other family to court for damages.

Vijai B. Pandey, 60, filed a lawsuit last month against friends who tried to arrange a marriage between his son Pranjul K. and their niece. The Pandeys spent lots of money on long-distance calls and airfare to New Delhi. She is described as being completely frightening "extremely shocked to find ... she was ugly ... with protruded bad teeth, and couldn't speak English to hold a conversation," as stated in the lawsuit. Wow Anna Nicole Smith is really desperate for a husband!

This civil suit is seeking $200,00 in damages and also charges their former friends with fraud conspiracy and violation of civil rights, among other claims resulting in emotional distress. If only we could sue our friends for every ugly blind date they set us up on...they'd owe us 12 beers and a rabbits foot...you don't wanna know.

Only Classy Ladies Arrive on Tractors

Yee haw! Who knew the British luved their farm equipment as much as the good ole fashioned US of A. Helen Thody decided to arrive in style to her recent wedding in Wanddingham by driving herself to the ceremony on a brand new tractor. (See picture for tractor goodness). This was not just a one tractor wedding, oh no, the couple drove off into the sunset on a vintage tractor. But don't think this tractor lovin' couple are just commoners. No, this couple will be attending a garden party at Buckingham Palace in two weeks. No word on whether the newlyweds will take their classy farm equipment to meet the Queen.

Wanted Man Appears at Daughter's Wedding

The strong bond between a father and daughter grows when he realizes his little girl will be leavin' the nest and gettin' married. In this case, blood was thicker than an arrest warrant. A man who was wanted in South Carolina in the death of his 83-year-old mother turned up in Kentucky last weekend to reportedly escort his daughter down the aisle at her wedding. ::Awe Pa, you shouldn't have...Wait...where's Grandma?:: After making this surprise appearance after being on the lamb, he was then arrested Thursday in North Carolina. Craig Baldwin 57 is charged with murder in the death of his mother, Dale Baldwin. Only a few weeks before the harmonious wedding, Grandma unexpectedly went to the Bingo Hall in the sky and authorities believe it wasn't from natural causes. Weddings have a funny effect on families....

Men Can't Keep From Loosing Their Rings!

We always knew that men probably lost their rings a lot. I mean, everything we see in movies makes it seem like men take them off as soon as they get out of sight from the evil and soul sucking woman....So, we were very interested when Prudential home insurance out of the UK provided us with some fabulous statistics. More than one in ten men lose their wedding rings within just three months of getting it. And then another bumbling 42 per cent will lose their wedding ring within the first five years of receiving it. Of course this report comes out with the sad news that most of them don't have their manly rings covered under their homeowners insurance. We all should buy insurance right now...or just buy multiples of the same ring. Change 'em like you do your socks. Either way you're covered right? Meh, don't sweat it. We don't.